How do I find a peace of mind and why does it feel like I am screaming to be valued with no sound coming out of my mouth? Why am I betrayed when I all I want to do is be loyal and present? I want to come from a place of love, not pain. …
My World has Flipped Upside Down
I cannot begin to express just how the rebuilding of my life is going. It’s going well, and it looks nothing like the broken pieces that were strewn about in February. I still struggle with the flashbacks of my past, but I am making actual changes to embrace my beautiful present and future. I have…
Proud of my Salmon Patties
I had no intentions of blogging tonight, let along about food, but I am too proud of myself to keep it to myself! After speaking with a co-worker about salmon patties today, and googling various styles to find healthy recipes to make this week, I took the plunge. I made salmon patties from a recipe…
Making My Own Decisions
I’ve made so many life altering decisions in three short months, but my head isn’t spinning. I feel calm, centered, and determined. I had a habit of running all of my ideas past people I respected, and then I’d get easily deterred if they didn’t agree with my viewpoint. I struggled with not feeling understood. …
Well it was just my ‘magination
My friend always says I have a wild imagination, so I’ll tell you about the time I fell for a guy I don’t know in 72 hours. Stay with me, because I am about to take you backwards and then make a point. I have been dreaming a lot lately. As a result of my…
I Held a Child and his Face Looked Just Like Yours
I reunited with a friend I refused to speak with for almost 10 years. During an argument, she said I would die alone with 50 cats in response to me checking up on her regarding something personal a mutual friend had shared with me. She was upset that I called her on something she did…
The Shame of Acceptance
I have a habit of downplaying myself because my life doesn’t look the way I dreamed it would. I haven’t exhaled yet. I keep feeling like I should have a certain loving relationship with my family like the one I had imagined in my mind. The older I got, the pain of “what isn’t” intensified….
The Rain Keeps Falling
It’s been raining a long time, but for the sake of this latest bleeding heart entry, it’s been 30 days. It was raining when my partner in crime threw me out. I had no umbrella that night, so it rained literally and figuratively on my world. The only thing I understand is that my fear…
Decluttering the Mind
I went on an apology spree because this part of the Lord’s Prayer had backfired, “Forgive us of our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”. I realized I had unhealthily been blocking myself from moving on by holding grudges. I remember leaving my friendship with my best friend from high school in…
Putting Me First
I have reached a fork in the road. One where I could continue on the road I am on, or take the other road and follow my dreams. My dreams seem impossible. They seem far and damn near impossible. When I close my eyes to go to sleep, I can feel my dreams come alive…
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