PA’s thoughts on relationships:
Relationships take work regardless of your level of involvement. Let’s face it, we’re all uniquely made. Along with our uniqueness comes the quirks, idiosyncrasies and isms that define who we are. Maybe you don’t like the way your significant other addresses conflict. Maybe you have a relative who only does things that are selfishly beneficial. Maybe you have a coworker who lacks accountability. It all boils down to how you react to these people and situations. It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. Perhaps you’re waiting on the wrong person to change.
Relationships have always made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I am extremely guarded, I listen more than I talk and I am constantly observing a person’s actions in order to determine their motives. I have the tendency to end relationships before they even start if I feel that a person isn’t genuine, untrustworthy or simply doesn’t understand discretion. The older that I get, the less time I have to decipher what people want from me or why they want it. This causes me to keep my circle extremely tight in order to minimize the majority of guesswork that coincides with letting strangers in. Even with this, I often ask myself if it’s me that is supposed to be learning how to accept people for who they are? Am I the one that should be acquiring skills of both adaptation and acceptance? Everyone isn’t worth your time, but for those who are, can you put in the work?
LB’s thoughts on relationships:
Relationships make the world go around, and they take up 100 % of my energy on a daily basis. I’m hard at work on them at any given moment because they are the life source that keeps me going.
Me, Myself, and I relationship
The most important relationship I have is with the one with me because it governs how I deal with myself and how I interact with my environment. When I say “me”, I am talking about how I deal with myself and how I relate to God while being me simultaneously. I know that may not make sense, but it does to me. Even if I think I am dealing with myself in a vacuum, I’m quickly reminded otherwise. This relationship has been through many ups and downs, and I am constantly working with me to maintain balance. I strive to live on a regimented schedule and pray for order in my life. Order helps alleviate 98% of my problems because it allows me to prioritize what I need to be working on and put things into perspective. This is an incremental process, and it isn’t linear. I constantly have to feed the spiritual, mental (emotional), and physical facets of myself. The relationship I have with “me, myself, and I” is the most important one I have because I am my biggest priority and my biggest responsibility. I cannot help anyone else if I am not taking care of myself. I can’t keep pouring outwardly without replenishing myself and practicing self-care.
If I could write a book with never ending pages, it still wouldn’t be enough to speak on the impact my relationships with my family has had on my life. My family includes people that aren’t blood, but have become family. I recently went home. Being with my father felt like walking beside a rushing river as it coursed endlessly through the base of thousands of mountains. My soul felt at peace because we echoed each other’s existence without explanation. I visited my mother this summer and I was reminded of her insurmountable strength and determination. My mother is my superhero because she’s the first person I ever knew that could leap over tall buildings in a single bound. She reminded me of the importance of self-care. As summer changed to autumn, I celebrated my birthday cocooned in love.
These relationships are vital to me and I cherish them with every fiber of my being. I have to water, prune, and tend to my relationships with deliberate determination in order to enjoy a fruitful harvest. The harvest that I collect from my relationships gives me the strength to go out into the world and make a living, while sharing my gifts to make a positive impact on the world around me.